My earlier posts was when I was sixteen and they are all in the drafts now.

 I've realized that I was sixteen when I started writing here. I know that I shouldn't be embarrassed of who I was, particularly of how I wrote. But I am.

But thinking about it, why shouldn't I be embarrassed? The concept is there so people wouldn't do things they'd regret.

I don't think I regret being sixteen and not knowing what will I grow up into. Admittedly sometimes I wished Ive made different choices and maybe be more firm in some of the choices I made. But everything I've done and the paths I've chosen really weren't bad at all. So I think I should be reminded of who I was, and thats why I'm not gonna delete those posts, I'm just gonna keep them to myself.

Enough being defensive, lets see if I can describe to myself of what I am now.

First off, I'm currently 24. 7 months ago I've started a career in one of the companies I admire the most, even before I know what it means to admire things and to be admired in return. So I'd say my life is pretty good right now, I'm making good money, enough to fool around a few times a month and still have some money left to save before my next salary.

I've enjoyed the benefit of education. The benefit of good parents, good family and an overall good life. Though the latter is a bit early to tell. With that in mind, one problem that I'm facing right now is adjustment to adulthood. I came from a modest house/home in Ipoh to one of the most boring places I know of. Truthfully, I dont blame the place at all. I mean, yeah, theres really nothing to do here, the place isnt as vibrant as other places and everything here is a routine. But then thats the thing with everything right? Places, people and everything else in general, sometimes they're like this and sometimes they're like that. Different people get shoved to different places as they live and they will have to adapt to it. And right now I am adapting.

One of the things I've realized is how Ipoh is no longer my home. I mean, some part of it still is, but its no longer somewhere i return to after a long day. And I guess I should start realizing that this time, the place that I get back to everyday after 5 is my home now. And that Ipoh, the place that I get back to every 2 months is still a home to me, but it will never be what it used to be ever again.

I need a reason for everything.

The truth is I cant even remember why I created this blog. It was years ago, and the posts reflected who I was. But now I think I have something to use it for.

I have for some time now realized, how much I have lost and will lose in this life. Some losses hurt more than others, but it doesn't matter. Because there is a way to lose things without losing them at all, and from there I've now found the value in writing. Not for anyone else, just for myself.

Jokes on me for thinking diaries are cheesy.