Traces of you

The breadth between us are filled with the memories we share,

I'd trace them with my fingers when I miss you,

I will always remember your joy and serenity,

During those white, sunny days,

My gaze was fixed upon you as you speak,

As you come alive in between the rays of light,

Happy and radiating,

And likewise I will cling to these memories,

So I can trace your hands even when you're no longer there.

29 tengkujuh

Bagai layang-layang, perasaanku terbang lagi malam ini. Angin tengkujuh meniupku laju, dan dalam ribut ini, aku teringatkan kamu. Gamitan wajahmu seperti memanggil-manggil akanku, lebih dari segala panggilan lain dari dunia. Lalu aku pun singgah di sini, hinggap gah di atas memori yang kau tinggalkan sejak 29 tengkujuh yang lalu.

Kehadiranmu masih aku rasai. Dalam tiupan angin ribut, dalam teriknya matahari, dalam dinginnya subuh, kau masih di sini. Setia melambai2 padaku, seakan2 mengajakku kembali ke sini. Ketika dunia terasa terlalu gamat, aku akan kemari lagi, aku janji.

Perasaan yang menghantui malam.

Sedangku ditiup angin malam yang hangat,

Jiwaku menelusuri jemarimu yang kasar mengusap ubun-ubunku,

Suatu ketika dulu,

Lembutnya kasihmu untukku,

Telah tumbuh bagai ranting yang berduri di jantungku,

Kaulah tongkatku didunia,

Dipinjamkan seketika oleh Yang Maha Perkasa,

Sedangku merintih dalam kesunyian ini,

Dalam rinduku pada sentuhan kasarmu,

Yang sentiasa menegakkan diriku pada bumi,

Teruslah berdiri wahai ayah dan ibuku,

Aku masih belum tahu,

Jika aku mampu terus menongkah arus,

Tanpa tongkatku didunia ini,

Sebenar-benarnya aku tidak tahu,

Bagaimana untuk menempuh hangatnya malam,

Ketika nanti kehangatan itu dingin,

Bila kau hanya wujud difikiranku,

Dan sentuhanmu hanyalah gema,

Yang sifatnya kian pudar ditelan masa,

Seperti angin malam ini.

Our common disparity.

Yesterday you called me a name I did not recognize. I was coming to terms of how I'm losing a grip on myself, and you shattered it all. I've never expected you to lose sight of me when I am. But then again who am I to picture you being selfless? You're probably losing grip on yourself too, and I was too self absorbed to realize that.

Before I knew it, I've made a tool out of you. Its always as if we belong to different worlds. Yours were my escape route, and an easy one at that. After a while, you turned into a habit. Just like a drug, and I'm the addict. My mess turned into ours, and I demanded you to solve it.

Across our time

I've keep a list of things to change in case they'd invent a time machine tomorrow, and you will never be on it.

2am: The Last Call

If this is the last time please come close,

Touch my face before you go.

If this is the last time please come close,

Don't hold your breath dad, it already hurts when I see your eyes closed.

If this is the last time please come close,

Tear my walls down and take me home.

If this is the last time please come close,

Hold me softly and tell me a joke,

Like how you burnt your pants when trying to smoke.

If this is the last time please come close,

Teach me of the world and warn me of the sea,

I'll carry your lessons and try not to choke.

If this is the last time please come close,

We'll share a prawn curry and talk about Chelsea,

Then we'll head back home and I'll climb your tree,

If this is the last time I'll come close,

Recognize my presence, 

I promise I'm not a ghost,

I've understood your love and now I'm learning how to say it,

How I've always missed you,

And I hope you'd hear it.

The overexposed

I can see the pictures now,

But more than that I could see your faces when you would look at them later,

There are feelings that haunt these photographs of us,

Off a peculiar brand of memories,

One that you cant remember but somehow feels very familiar,

And this is where I wish our paths would split,

So you wont end up like me,

Comfortable in solace,

I do not wish to be forgotten, no,

Not by the likes of you,

Not by the likes of people who I'd have given hold of my heart,

Even in days like this when you're all squeezing it a little too tightly,

I would still not have asked for it back,

Because I've known the piercing pain in my chest,

And how beautiful it is,

I don't know if you've felt it before,

In case you haven't,

Its nearly the same as one you've felt,

When you are looking at these photographs of us.